Hurricane Washout Defense Command
(HWDC)
..or how
Larry prepared for heavy rains from
a tropical cyclone spinning up the coast
Larry (the name we use to protect
the innocent-ly insane) spent most of last weekend patching up that
back section of lawn that has been bugging him for a couple years
now. Enter Mother Nature, stage right. Of course here, it would be
stage wrong....
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Ever notice how storm warnings are in ALL CAPS?
This scares Larry even more than bad financial news in
RED. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THIS
SYSTEM BECOMES A SUBTROPICAL OR TROPICAL
CYCLONE...STRONG WINDS... COASTAL FLOODING... HIGH
SURF... AND DANGEROUS RIP CURRENTS WILL CONTINUE ALONG
PORTIONS OF THE U.S. EAST COAST DURING THE NEXT COUPLE
OF DAYS. OUTER RAINBANDS ARE ALREADY SPREADING ONSHORE
FROM SOUTH CAROLINA TO VIRGINIA. |
THE WHOLE SCENARIO:
Larry's patch job involved 8 tons of topsoil and a couple cubic
yards of mushroom manure, two sore backs (..the other kind of wife
labor) and countless pounds of grass seed and seed-starter.
Enter the copious amounts of tropical storm moisture that are
predicted, headed for where? Larry's backyard of course. What should
he do, just ride it out, or institute his HWDC Plan? Larry decided
to throw on his old army helmet, call in the balance of his labor
force and begin preparing his defenses!
Larry reached into his grab bag (..and wallet) to pull out a wide
array of defense mechanisms.... three bales of straw, one large roll
of erosion matting, and yes! a huge roll of clear plastic sheeting.
This was going to be an all-afternoon defense drill, back on the
parade field. To your left, to your left, to your left right
left.
So just how did Larry lay his defenses, you ask?
Well, after action reports indicate the larger areas of newly spread
topsoil were covered with large sheets of clear plastic. Other
sections were defended with erosion matting, and the oddball
sections were mulched with straw. Larry calls this his "3-Pronged
Defense."
Thick topsoil areas were
covered with plastic
It still remains to be seen how well
Larry and his new sections of lawn will weather the remnants of the
hurricane. Will the plastic covered areas get wiped out by the
dreaded
Pythium Blight? Will his straw defenses hold better than those
of the three little lawn pigs? And will that erosion matting
actually prevent erosion?
Check back later for updates!
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